Today, I’ve found my answer.
What am I doing with my life? What career do I really want to pursue? Am I in the right company? What’s my vocation? What’s my calling?
If you have at least one of the questions above lingering in your head for a while now, then don’t you worry, you’re not alone.
I am just like you.
In fact, I’ve got all of the above circling in my head like a bothersome headache, which no type of paracetamol can cure.
Today, I read an article from RELEVANT- an online magazine on faith, culture and intentional living. Title is “What’s God’s Will For Me?” and it’s basically tackling one’s so-called ‘struggle’ to find God’s calling. While I find this quite an easy feat for people who are burning with fervor in their chosen fields, I think there are some lads and lasses like me, who are equally passionate people, yet generally unsure of their decisions or simply downright insecure and cowardly to make the next big one.
And for all of us, we consider this whole experience nothing else but a long, dark tunnel we’re too afraid to cross.
But at one point in our lives, this unbeaten path becomes unbearable NOT to cross. We find ourselves on the crossroads of our lives and the pain of not taking action just slowly kills our freewill. And I don’t wanna fall into the pit of passiveness.
Just when I’m ready to pack my bags for a life trek, today, I find myself realigning my expectations. Today I realized that maybe, just maybe.. the answer is nowhere tangible- that we may never be able to figure it out in our lifetime. What if we’ll never get the answer we’re looking for? What if our calling was never meant to be unearthed to us in exact, measurable ways?
It could be a huge slap on the face, I know. Could God trick us this way? Are we merely puppets who are unable to make life decisions for a directed, well-planned and envisioned future?
I believe not. I believe that we’re entirely in control by and with faith. And perhaps, at least for me, the answer is the struggle itself- the everyday decisions, the small feats and failures, the amalgam of yes and no’s, right and wrong and the grey area. Everything. Everything accounts for God’s plan. Everything in our lives yesterday, tomorrow or even today, is part of God’s well-orchestrated plan for all of us. The day-to-day struggle is our very own beautiful walk in and with Christ.
And you know what’s beautiful about this struggle? The answer is entirely on our hands. We only have to trust God with our lives, every single day with every decision we make- big or small, right or wrong.
With this, I want to end with a short prayer:
Lord, let my will align with Yours. Time to wear some spiritual Nikes on.
An Excerp: What Is God’s Will for My Life?
With good intentions, we try hard to use various methods to find God’s will. But what if God’s will was never intended to be found? In fact, what if it was never hidden from us in the first place? What if God the Father has not sent his children on a cosmic Easter egg hunt to discover his will while he sits back in heaven saying, “You’re getting colder … warmer … colder … ”? And what if searching for God’s will like this actually misses the entire point of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus?
Such questions lead us to realize that far more important than looking and searching for God’s will is simply knowing and trusting God. We yearn for mechanical formulas. We want to find shortcuts to the mind of God. But this is not God’s design—or should I say, this is not God’s will. His ultimate concern is not to get you or me from point A to point B along the quickest, easiest, smoothest, clearest route possible. Instead, His ultimate concern is that you and I would know Him more deeply as we trust Him more completely.
As we trust God through the difficult times, we’ll become rugged and ready, tested and prepared for greater usefulness.
Something to smile about.
I read from one of the tumblr blogs i follow that the Lord assures us of answers to our questions- no matter how trivial, no matter how many.
Amidst the cloud of uncertainty in my life right now, I find peace in my heart and trust that He will show me the answers in the right and perfect time. This makes me worry less because I know that things will fall into place once we set aside our doubts and fully surrender everything to Him. The -ber months have finally arrived and 2011 will sure fly by fast without us noticing it’s another year again.
Hmm. I guess what I’m saying is that let’s make the most out of what we have left this year! Being in Robinsons for more than a year has definitely taught me irreplaceable lessons. Yes, I may not be getting the ideal, most enticing salary (which I always fuss over, Saz can attest to that) but on a brighter side, despite that I’m learning to still rack up my savings and budget my money, which I believe will be very useful when I start my own family. I’m also learning to manage stress better than ever before; I’ve learned to be stronger in dealing with disrespectful brokers who almost bully me around to get what they want (because I’m (was) too nice). I could go on and on but basically, my year-long experience has been more importantly about character-building. And i need that. Admittedly, I am pretty weak in managing stress and I don’t normally trust myself in handling bigger responsibilities (yes, self-doubt at times, i get that), but my experiences here have certainly paved way for me to work on it.
And i heave a sigh of relief.
Let’s keep the faith, let’s hope for the best. This is to a fruitful month ahead!